posted by Nastassia Lopez
This May, Dave’s wish for a centrifuge came true when Unilever donated their old Sorvall RC2-B to the school’s Tech department.Â The ‘fuge has a permanent home in Dave’s lair, and though it’s built like a bomb shelter, and not the most elegant instrument, this big guy is refrigerated and can do up to 48,000 g’s at 20,000 rpm onÂ a good day.Â Â It also continues to serve the department very well, despiteÂ all of theÂ maniacal conditions Dave has made it endure.Â Â A centrifugeÂ can be a damningly dangerousÂ thing butÂ Dave creditsÂ his ‘fuge’s resiliance (and mercy) to one manâ€”Taylor W. Hubbleâ€”whose business card came with the machine.
TaylorÂ was this ‘fuge’s service repâ€”but for us, he is more than that: he’s becomeÂ our saving grace; theÂ Sorvall Guardian Angel.Â Dave won’t let anyone mess with Hubble’s card lest it mess with the karma/feng shui of the whole machine.Â So last week,Â on aÂ whim,Â Dave and I decided to call the service number on Taylor’s card.Â It had turned into a hotline.
We were not to be defeated.Â WeÂ called DuPont directly. While on hold, Dave and I created a fantasy life for Taylor W. Hubbleâ€”retired and living on a riverÂ inÂ Florida with his wife and a personal centrifuge in his basement.Â And then the voice on the other side of the phoneÂ came: “This is Taylor Hubble.”Â Holy Crap! He existed! And he still worked for DuPont!Â We were speechless.
I told Taylor that we were honored to speak to him, andÂ explained the venerable role he played with our centrifuge (I’m certain heÂ thought we’d been playing with too many chemicals at this point; especially when I mentioned that Dave wouldn’t Â let anyone remove his cardÂ so as not to upset the machine’sÂ balance).Â I scheduled an interview with him the following week, which Nils and I conducted via speaker phone (Dave had just left for Italy).
The Call with Taylor W. Hubble
The whole purpose of the Taylor Hubble call was to get some background information on the centrifuge:Â to find out where it had been, what it was used for, if he did any major services on it, etc. (in addition to just meeting the man himself). Â Unfortunately Taylor didn’t have any of the original service history on our centrifuge because the instrument itself is obsolete.Â Taylor could onlyÂ remember installing a device on the lid so that one cannot open it while it is spinning (which comes in handy when spinning at such high rpm).
Then things got evenÂ weirder for TaylorÂ when Nils askedÂ him for a recent photo.Â After a long silence he said that he had none and that he looked pretty much the same as the old photo on his card except with less hair and more freckles on his head. He also warned us several times that he could notÂ do any service on the machine. We assured him several times that it was trulyÂ not the reason we were calling.Â He didn’t sound convinced.Â
We thanked him on behalf of Dave forÂ the metaphysical presence he had on the machine, and let him know that the next time he’s in New York City he could spin some liquids for old times sake, and do a skoal shot.
Thanks, Taylor W. Hubble!
5 thoughts on “Taylor W. Hubble – The Tech Department's Guardian Angel”
Y’all are creepy and hilarious, carry on!
HAHAHA, i think cults have been started for far less than this…
You should have sent him a link to this blog!!
Somewhere in the swampy backwaters of Florida, Taylor W. Hubble puts down the telephone receiver, exhales resignedly, and pumps a round into his shotgun.
“They never stop, Martha,” he says to a black-and-white photograph on the short table next to his rocking chair.
They never stop calling. They never stop spinning. Around and around.
He can’t hide forever.
Fantastic. Great post. That is why life is the beautiful, amazing, splendiforous thing it is – acts others call weird but that makes those some others smile and slightly jealous they aren’t bound by imaginary social strictures that stops them from doing things like it.
You know that when the good Mr Hubble hung up the phone his slightly confused expression slowly turned contemplative, then became a smile as he shook his head and let go of one of those little half laughs as he realised he will in some way be remembered and that people are at times bizarrely wonderful creatures.
It’s the outliers that change society and you’re whole project is about change for the better, so be glad some would call you different because if you weren’t there is no chance it would ever work!
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